ATTACHMENT THERAPY

Do you feel anxious or out of control in your relationships?

ATTACHMENT WITH DR. BEN CULHANE | PSY.D.

This form of therapy focuses on understanding and improving your emotional bonds, allowing you to develop secure and fulfilling relationships.

Do you feel anxious or out of control in your relationships? Do you find yourself struggling to form secure emotional bonds with others? Have past experiences in your childhood left you yearning for meaningful connections and hindered your ability to establish healthy boundaries or say no? Are you facing challenges in expressing your needs and fears in relationships—as in “it’s ok, it’s not that important?”

If you’re finding that you often need reassurance and external validation, or you’re sacrificing your own well-being to maintain connections, attachment therapy might be what you’re looking for. Maybe you felt that you always need to be in a relationship to feel whole. Perhaps you worry that your partner will abandon you. Someone who has experienced a disruption in their attachment system often focuses on the needs of others This form of therapy focuses on understanding and improving your emotional bonds, allowing you to develop secure and fulfilling relationships.

Individuals often struggle with attachment issues due to early experiences, such as a lack of emotional support, unresolved conflicts, or an absence of consistently positive connections. Attachment challenges can show up as a fear of vulnerability, difficulty trusting others, or a persistent fear of abandonment.

Attachment therapy provides a space for self-exploration, fostering resilience and empowering you to build secure connections. By addressing deep-rooted patterns and working towards a healthier attachment style, you can break free from the limitations of past experiences.

Attachment issues can have far-reaching effects on personal and professional aspects of life. Inconsistent attachment in younger years can lead to difficulty identifying your emotions – anger, pain, joy, doubt, and frustration. Often this distorted perspective can lead to seeing red flags and green, simply because that is what you are familiar with. Often familiar is the feeling of not being in control. This therapy aims to break the cycle of emotional co-dependency, allowing you to prioritize self-care while fostering meaningful relationships.

Statistics suggest that a significant portion of the population grapples with attachment challenges, often unknowingly passing on learned behaviors to the next generation. Attachment therapy seeks to unravel these patterns, providing a path toward healthier connections. Emotional dependency often hinders the development of mutually beneficial relationships, impacting both our personal and professional spheres. Engaged in a perpetual cycle of assisting others, we inadvertently neglect our own well-being.

For some, the roots of this behavior traced back to households characterized by a lack of communication, the absence of nurturing human touch, or an avoidance of constructive conflict resolution. Growing up in environments that discouraged emotional expression led to a learned sense of distrust. Consequently, as children, we became good at serving others and identifying as a “helper.”

Over time, these patterns of codependent behavior become deeply ingrained in our personalities, rendering them unrecognizable. Overcoming codependency proves challenging as our actions remain obscured from clear self-perception. Relying solely on willpower often falls short of effecting meaningful change.

Fortunately, the guidance of a trained therapist offers an external perspective to navigate the complexities of overcoming attachment issues and codependent behaviors. Through attachment therapy, individuals can learn to strike a balance between caring for others and prioritizing self-care. This transformative process paves the way for stronger, healthier relationships both personally and professionally.

In therapy, you’ll gain insights into the impact of your early experiences and learn to reframe your perspective. You’ll heal the underlying feelings of anxiety, painful longing, and abandonment. By the end of therapy, you’ll have more self-love, develop deep emotional awareness, and establish secure boundaries.

Can This Therapy Really Help Me Have Healthy Boundaries and Confidence In Myself?

It might seem like an impossible challenge. However, with a strong support system, you can reshape the narrative that has been woven since childhood and overcome painful lessons learned in your youth. If you’ve internalized the belief that connecting with others meant making yourself small, not sharing what you need for fear that others would leave you, or that you’re not good enough, then you’ve come to the right place.  Don’t miss your opportunity to have the life and healthy relationships that you want.

In my role as a therapist specializing in relationship dynamics and emotional connection, I know the transformative power of therapy in helping individuals discover their value and grow their ability to connect with others. Therapy provides a nurturing and non-judgmental environment where you can identify and understand your misguided behaviors, reframe your self-perception, and initiate lasting changes.

Throughout our sessions, we’ll delve into the root causes of your codependency symptoms, exploring the childhood experiences that have shaped your behaviors. I’ll assist you in understanding how these patterns impact your life and collaboratively develop a strategic plan aligned with your aspirations. In the counseling process, you’ll have the space to navigate and acknowledge a range of emotions, including shame, fear, lack of control, anger, resentment, and bitterness.

Our sessions will incorporate practical exercises designed to help you reconnect with yourself and establish healthy boundaries by learning to assertively say “no.” Together, we’ll rebuild a supportive network of friends and family focused on nurturing your individual development rather than perpetuating codependent or anxious attachment behavior.

As part of your personalized healing plan, I often use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), offering insights into your behaviors and constructive methods for change. The aim is to use CBT to enhance how you relate to yourself and others, fostering healthier connections. Additionally, we may use EMDR to heal from past experiences that still cause fear, sadness, pain, or hurt. 

Through guidance in therapy, you’ll learn to reshape your self-perception, recognizing that your needs are just as valid as anyone else’s. This transformative journey empowers you to honor yourself while offering help or love to others from a place of strength—a place of empowerment.


Still Have Questions?

“What if I lose who I am when I work through all of this?”

The unknown can be scary. When we don’t know what risks are on the journey, it’s important to have a guide that has led others around the pitfalls and safely to the destination. And when your “familiar” is chaotic and self-abandoning, grasping for a sense of “normalcy” to survive—even if it’s unhealthy—is understandable. Until you get help, these patterns may seem like this safe space to you. Losing it could feel like you’re losing your identity, letting go of a security blanket. The beauty of attachment therapy is that you will see the security blanket for what it is—full of holes, tattered, and not able to keep you warm. You’ll look forward to the moment you trade it in for the plush duvet.

“Do I have to do couples therapy?”

Issues with relationship dynamics might in the beginning spark the idea that couples therapy is the key to strengthening your relationship. However, the truth is, the foundation of any relationship starts with individual growth – a relationship is the whole of its individual parts.  It’s like watering the roots of a tree before expecting its branches to flourish.

Attachment therapy nourishes the soil for your roots, allowing you to rewire your life’s approach and prioritize your needs ahead of others. As you learn to nurture and care for yourself, establishing healthier patterns becomes the groundwork for overcoming codependency and anxious attachment, ultimately growing the branches in your relationships. Remember, just as a tree thrives when its roots are well-tended, a relationship flourishes when each individual cultivates personal well-being. 



If you’re ready to overcome attachment issues and embark on a journey towards secure connections and a renewed sense of self, joy, and confidence, consider scheduling a free 15-minute consultation. Let attachment therapy guide you towards a more intentional and empowered future, breaking free from past patterns and laying the groundwork for fulfilling relationships.

Attachment Therapy can be effectively administered virtually as well as in person. It’s up to you what feels best for you and your schedule.

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